


Selnara

by quenne



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Celebrations, Gen, Memorials, Memories, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-15
Updated: 2010-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-13 19:50:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quenne/pseuds/quenne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Pegasus winter holiday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selnara

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Stargate_LAS.](http://community.livejournal.com/stargate_las/)

December comes and goes without fanfare the first year. They’re in the middle of the ocean, and Earth is but a memory and a whispering hope yet. They’re traipsing off to other planets as often as they can to try and find a ZPM, and no one much feels like celebrating, if any of them even notices.

John has Rodney write him a program to keep track of the Earth date but he doesn’t look at it much. It’s too depressing, another month sliding by in only twenty-some days, and it’s not even like he has anything or anyone to go home to. He can’t imagine what it’s like for Carson or Ford or Elizabeth.

The second year Elizabeth remembers, but she makes it a winter festival to keep it non-denominational, and lets people celebrate their particular holidays on their own time. Teyla politely refuses his clumsy attempt at a Christmas gift, and Ronon keeps the not-so-neatly wrapped package in his room, unopened, and John doesn't have the heart to tell him there's something _inside_ the pretty paper.

The third year is more festive, with an explosion of decorations into the hallways in the living areas, but the official party remains non-denominational and a little stale. John goes because he supports the concept in general and Elizabeth in particular, but he doesn't drink much and heads out just before his head drops to his chest and he falls asleep.

The fourth year sucks beyond the telling of it, mainly because Elizabeth is gone and while Colonel Carter is capable and a welcome addition to the expedition, they're on an unfamiliar planet with a damaged city. There's one big difference, though, and that's the snow. It's just the end of December – the 30th according to the program that runs in the database now – and it's only a little bit of snow, not even enough to stick on the piers and other flat spaces of Atlantis. He catches Teyla staring out the window at it, mesmerized.

"What's going on?" John asks.

Teyla looks almost startled when she looks up at John, like she hadn't realized John was there. "Just thinking," she says, and now she looks more melancholy than John's seen in a long time.

"Anything I can help with?" John asks, and Teyla smiles sadly.

"Yes," she answers.

*

Ronon nods when John tells him, and Rodney acquiesces almost as easily – something John would have been more surprised at a couple of years ago, but these last few years, Rodney's had some emotional growing pains.

They gather in Teyla's quarters, which she's cleared out for the occasion. There is a ring of lit candles surrounding four pillows on the floor, and there's a single, unlit candle in front of each one.

"Welcome," Teyla says, ushering them in. Rodney goes straight for a plate of cakes on her coffee table, but Teyla intercepts him easily, taking his arm and walking him over to the pillows. "Please take a seat."

Ronon and Teyla descend gracefully onto the pillows, Rodney plops down on his, and John does a two step maneuver involving squatting and taking his weight on his hands. He makes sure to be done before Rodney so at least no one will be watching him totter to the floor like an old man.

"This is the winter remembrance ritual," Teyla says, "Selnara. We remember those who have fallen and those who are not with us and light a candle in their memory."

Ronon nods. "When I was a kid, we used to put them in little boats on the river," he says, "and ask for them to bring our loved ones home."

Teyla smiles and reaches out to squeeze his hand. "We did so as well," she says, "but I didn't have time to make the boats. I had not realized it snowed here."

John and Rodney share a look and Teyla explains. "The festival is to be done on the evening of the first snow," she says. "When I was small my mother told me the snow was a reminder from those that had left us."

She starts the ritual by lighting her candle and saying, "May the Ancestors bring my people safely home."

John tries not to grimace; it's been over a month since the Athosians went missing and they still don't have a clue what happened to them. Ronon smiles at her when she hands him the lighter, and he takes a deep breath before lighting his candle.

"For Ara and Rakai, who lost their way long before their deaths. For Tyre, may he yet find his way to truth."

John keeps his eyes lowered. He had wished for Ronon not to leave Atlantis to be with his Satedan friends, but he hadn't wanted it to end the way it did. He can only hope Tyre really does find his way to the truth, or at least that he doesn't mess with Ronon and Atlantis anymore.

Rodney looks particularly solemn when he lights his candle. "For Carson," he says, "and to whomever might be listening: please protect Jeannie and her family better than I have lately."

John still can't look up; it could have been Rodney he was lighting a candle for tonight, and the thought chafes. It could have been any of them, he thinks, and it's not like there's a shortage of people who've given their lives over the last four years. He takes the lighter from Rodney and lights his candle.

"For Elizabeth and all the people we've lost along the way," he says. "And for Ford, may he find his way home."

Teyla takes his hand, nodding at Rodney's hand where it rests on his knee. She takes Ronon's hand and Ronon grabs Rodney's with reflexes Rodney always underestimates. Rodney rolls his eyes and holds his hand out to John.

"To the loved ones we have left in this world," Teyla says, "may the Ancestors protect us and keep us safe."


End file.
